People often seek counselling because they don’t have anyone to talk to about what’s troubling them. They might have friends, a partner, family etc but they need to really TALK and everyone else is busy / has their own stuff going on / aren’t the right person to talk to / they are the ones you need to talk about / they are going through the same thing so how can you unload your thoughts and feelings on to them?
And many people simply don’t have anyone with whom they can truly open up and be themselves. Clients often tell their counsellor: “You are the only person I can really talk to about this.” So, if you feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to, you’re most definitely not alone.
It’s really common for people feel like they have no-one to talk to
People come to counselling because what they really need is to talk about themselves, in great detail, without feeling like they’re being needy or boring or that the person they are talking to is going to judge them for what they are saying or how they are feeling.
That’s what counselling gives you: space and time to talk about you in a safe space with no judgement and no repercussions. Clients often apologise for being boring, when they go over the same things repeatedly, but it’s not boring, it’s part of processing how you’re feeling, no apology needed (although perhaps interesting to reflect on why they feel the need to apologise…). For some reason clients also apologise for swearing, but if it helps you access your feelings, clarify and express them, then turn the air as blue as you like!
Counselling gives you the space to say what you need to say, including the things you can’t say to anyone else, with a qualified person by your side to help you figure out what’s going on while keeping you safe. ‘Keeping you safe’ means exploring what’s going on for you carefully, within boundaries, not randomly excavating of lots of difficult emotional stuff that leaves you feeling worse than ever.
This is about working with a qualified professional who has trained for at least three years to provide effective, safe counselling, not some random woowoo mystic with a direct line to all your deceased relatives and a penchant for tie-dye pantaloons who does more harm than good. We don’t do chanting or crystals or any of that stuff – there may be some breathing exercises, though breathing is inarguably important.
So, if you need to talk and no-one in your life can give you the space you need, maybe give counselling a try.